/cfb/ history part 1. wyo and smu

 alright hello everyone and welcome to the first edition of /cfb/ history. this will be a multi part look back at some posts from the peak of the college football board on 4chan /sp/. if you have any requests let me know and i will look into it.

today we will focus on my first times posting on the board, as well as a legendary post made by a smu fan. enjoy

they look like pretty good conferences to me... well its time for the smu post. get some snacks causes its a long saga. open up in new tab for zoom in

that was a very sad post history to go through. anyways thank you for coming by people! have a great day. be safe!!!

the coup finals - a champion is crowned

alright hello everyone. i am sorry for the delay with this series, there is really no excuse for it. but today we will see the results of the final games. we left off with team rustler up in the series 2-1.

game 4 (2-1)

31/10 for wazzu. impressive numbers by popovich, hes not in there to score but he did everything else

game 5 (3-1)

with the threat of elimination, the boys really put on a show and showed hope for the rest of the series

wazzu has his way in every game

incredible performance by every player. backcourt combined for 60/20~. 28/10 for cst. 

game 6 (3-2)

team rustler just didnt make mistakes. hardly any fouls or turnovers all game.

i dont know why exactly i highlighted cst's performance😅. not that it was bad. 9 blocks by wyo is impressive.

the big scoring game by berk ive been waiting for. another great game for this whole team

well there you have it everyone. team rustler takes the championship here. it was a hard fought series and good performance all around. my final takeaway - although every player was the same overall, i think ruston rustler and wazzu were op 😂. ruston rustler just had too much scoring ability and wazzus beefy body was too much for anyone to handle.

the coup finals game 3

alright hello everyone and welcome back to the blog. the finals have finally started back up again. if you remember when we left off team rustler had a decisive 2-0 advantage. would this continue or could team cowboy come back to make it a series? lets find out

wow! the underdog team cowboy came out serious in this game. surprising that they were still able to win despite the 10 extra turnovers. 

the biggest surprise. the goat of the first 2 games became the g.o.a.t of game 3. 30 points on great effeciency for the little man. 7 boards at 5'6? incredible game for simanon. a solid 20 points, 10 boards, 5 blocks for the combined wyos was a pretty nice performance. a really nice all around game for boone. melans performance doesn't show up in the stat sheet, absolute lock down on defense this game. cst sold the bag this game. too busy thinking about his woman, youll get em next time bud.

im not sure what to even note for team rustler this time. ruston rustler put up a nice 25/5 on elite %. wazzu didnt dominate the boards the way he had before. captain paths picked up a bit of the scoring load and repeatedly made it to the line. pop could have been better. berkshire had 9 big assists but unusually for him couldnt hit a shot to save his life.

well thats it for today. ill be honest i didnt even watch the simulation this game because i expected the series to be a sweep 😅. so i was surprised to see the results when i came back to it. ill be excited to watch the next game. check back again for when team cowboy travels to ruston to try to tie the series up, and team rustler tries to get back on the right foot in front of their home fans

jim from gym part 2

alright hello everyone and welcome back to the blog. we're just going to jump right into it today. if you will remember in the last blog i stopped off after the first day with jim. we will continue from there

so the next day afterwards i was working and i told my coworker what had happened with jim and explained what he looked like and stuff. then the next day i was off, and i got a message from that coworker saying that a man came into the backroom looking for me with a folder of papers in his hand, and she thought it was him based on my description of him. so i was like what in the world could possibly be in that folder. then the next day i was at work, and im alone in the back and the doors open. jim with his folder of papers. he says he came by looking for me yesterday and he really wanted me to have this. so i take the folder and i open it up and i see... a bunch of workout routines. so that was pretty releiving, even though i still thought it was odd. but then he told me that he wanted to go through and do every one of those routines with me just like how we did the other day, where he would be 'coaching' me aka touching me. and i said oh um ok if i see you there we can maybe go through one. then that next saturday he came into the store and looked for me, and said what time are we going to the gym today. and i dont know why i didnt just say i wasnt going that day or something but i told him when id be there. sure enough i roll up to the gym and hes there. now heres the thing. he said he had been there waiting for me for 10-15 minutes, so why hadn't he gotten changed yet. he didnt have to wait for me! but yeah we went through another workout together with him being much too close to me and telling me how handsome he thought i was. the day was finished and i took more underwear photos of him and we went our separate ways.

so i went through the rest of the week without seeing him and then i answered the phone at work on saturday. "kellen? this is jim. what time are we doing it today?" and once again i told him when i'd be there. he called the store to ask me. so when i got there i told him oh i didnt want to do a routine today, that im just going to do cardio, which really wasnt my plan but i didnt want to workout with him again. and he said "no you're not. we're doing this together" and i said um ok then. so we workout, i feel him and he feels me. he tells me that he wants to see me on the cover of magazines one day. and im like uh no ill never look that good. then he grabs my shoulders from behind me and tells me that he wishes i saw myself the way he sees me. he starts pointing out specific parts of my body and saying how good it looks and stuff. i kinda changed that topic pretty quick, and he said i should take my shirt off for the rest of the workout so i can admire myself, and im like um no thank you i wouldnt be comfortable.

so then i was at work on my birthday, and the phone started ringing so i picked it up. "kellen? hey this is jim, just calling to wish you a happy birthday. i hope its so special like you". people i never told him when my birthday was. i dont really tell anyone when it is. so at this point im like what else does he know. another week goes by, another saturday workout with jim. this time he starts telling me about a kid in his class from 60 years ago who pulled out his schmeat in class and started playing with it, and thought it was funny because it was 10 inches. jim said "but that guy didnt know how to use it" um how do you know this jim. "ive personally got 6 inches but i always bring my lovers to orgasm" and i want to death at this point.

so while this was going on i would always update a different coworker of mine on the happenings, she was someone i never worked with, as in work similar job, but somehow became good work friend of mine anyway. then one day at the store i saw him from a distance while i was talking to her, and pointed him out to her. her eyes lit up and said "oh him?!? my boyfriend warned me about that guy. you need to be really careful around him!" and im like warned about what 😳.

anyways all of this stuff with jim went on for like 2 and a half months until he got really sick for a while and i didnt hear from him for like 4 months. recently i have been seeing him in the store again and he stops me and talks to me for a while but he doesnt do anything too bad other than tell me i look good or something. tell me people, am i overthinking? would he have raped me if he didnt get sick? or was he just an innocent guy who wanted to help me workout and i took it the wrong way? i dont know. let me know what you think people. thank you for reading and have a great day. be safe

jim from gym part 1: prolouge

alright hello everyone and welcome back to another blog post. first of all i would like to give one last thought to jamal. jamal i loved you very much and im so sorry what happened to you. i have yet to forgive myself and i know i will always remember you and your playful attitude. you will not be forgotten. please lets all have a moment of silence and remember him for all the wonderful memories we had.

thank you

ok everybody so today i want to talk to you about jim from the gym. jim is a 74 year old man who i would occasionally see at the store i work at when i first started there. that was when i was a meat man and when i would close down the shop at night i would see him and he would for some reason he was much much more friendly than most people. he would always give me a big smile and a 'how are you today' and tell me i was doing a good job and stuff. so i really only saw him like less than 10 times over the year i was closing the shop most nights of the week. then around that time i started going to the gym, because i was particularly scrawny and i had no idea. i was 140 lbs at 6'2. i was always overweight as a kid and teen. so i couldn't see myself as being too small or anything and it wasn't until people at the store kept constantly telling me how small i was that i started to realize. maybe i should have realized when i was 6'2 and size small t shirts were huge on me, but i digress.

anyways i started lifting and about a month or 2 into going i saw him there. he goes '😲well how are yooouuuuu doing today' and i got into a short conversation with him about me being new there and stuff. well for about the next year after that i only saw him very rarely at the store, and never again at the gym. whenever he would see me at the store hed stop to talk to me about how his workouts are going. but then one fateful day i saw him at the store and he asked me a question ' hey what size shirt do you wear' and i said well i can wear a medium or a large. nowadays i only can wear large. but he says 'alright well my friend who owns a gym out on the coast sent me a tanktop but i cant wear it, ill give it to you. what time are you going to the gym today'. so i didnt really want it but i told him when i would be there.

so i get to the gym and hes on the stationary bike talking to someone, and i go to the changing room. as im in there i hear a knock on the door and he opens it to give me the tank. by this point i already had my t shirt i was going to workout in on. but he wants me to try it on😳 and im like... ok i can try it on i guess. and so i wait for him to turn around to walk out to try it on. and as soon as my shirt comes off he turns back around and watches me put it on. i didnt like that but oh well. i accept the shirt and we go our separate ways to exercise. at least for a couple minutes until he comes back over with another tanktop and he says he doesnt like the way it feels. so hed be happy if i took it off his hands. im like oh ok um i guess. he says 'great! come on to the locker room and try it on'. so i followed him to the locker room and he shut the door behind us and watched as i changed from one tank he gave me to the other. then he pulls out a pair of shorts and tells me he only wore them once but he did not like them so he wants me to have them. so i said umm umm i dont know but after he kept telling me to take it i accepted. he did ask me to try them on but i said no thanks, at the time i only wore sweat pants when lifting but now i do tend to wear shorts. again we start exercising separately and then he starts giving me pointers for some reason, even though at this point i had been going for a year and had found a routine that was working pretty well for me. but he stayed with me and kept telling me what to do and how to do it better. until eventually he started telling me to just to watch him, and to feel his muscles while he excercised. and i did it. i remember one of the main ones was a upper thigh thing. so i had to feel it. and then he told me to do the exercise and he felt mine. i was very uncomfortable but i am very not want to make someone mad at me and i just did it. then he made me do stuff like that for an hour, until eventually he was done with me and told me that before i left he needed me to take pictures of him to send his trainer. i say alright thats fine and he gives me his phone camera and strips down to his very tight underwear and starts posing. i take several pictures and i see things i did not want see. then he finally says thats enough pics and i want to go home asap. but he says to me i should have pics taken of me and if i wanted some he would take them. i said no thank you and got home and just thought how weird that was and i was glad the day was over, how naive of me to think this was the last i would see of jim.

people the story has yet to begin. this part of the blog is just to set up for the next blog which will be the real main course. expect to see it soon. alright thank you for reading and please come back for the next part please and thank you. be safe everybody

the coup finals game 2

alright hello everyone and welcome back to the blog. today i will show you the results of game 2

yes it is true. after winning game 1 team rustler comes away with another big w for the impressive 2-0 series lead. as you can see the turnovers and fouls were really the only area of seperation in the game. team rustler was leading by as many as 14 at one point before team cowboy caught back up, but there just wasn't enough time to finish the comeback. lets see how indiviuals did

as you can see for team cowboy, boone goone really led the way in scoring. in the 2nd half he we just lights out from 3 going 6-9 in the final 20 minutes. wyo, melan, and simon all had double doubles. cst played a really great game as well as the 2nd leading scorer and rebounder. simon shouldnt take that many shots in my opinion, hes more of a facilitator. i can say that because he does not read this blog.

as you can see the team captain ruston rustler really carried the scoring load for team rustler. everytime it looked like team cowboy was going to be going on a run ruston rustler was able to drive through for a layup. despite being the second shortest man on the court, ruston rustler has the largest height advantage, as his 5'8 body towers over the 5'5 simon. wazzus absolute mass has proven to be too much to handle in the paint. weighing in at 250 pounds he has been able to get any rebound he wants. very interesting to see that paths, popovich, and berkshire each came away with 14 points on 50% shooting. as you can see from the assist totals the game plan was definitely to let ruston rustler go to town.

well thats all for this blog. can team cowboy come back to make it a series? or will team rustler continue to runaway with it?find out next time on the blog. thank you everybody for viewing and stay safe!

stanford all high character team

alright hello everyone and welcome to the blog. what will we discuss today? well...

the true fact that i like that stanford always have good white players haha. lets meet the boys on offense

at quarterback we have andrew luck. finished 2nd place in heisman in 2010 and 2011.

at running back we have toby gerhart. finished 2nd in heisman in 2009

also at runningback we have christian mccaffrey. finished 2nd in heisman in 2015.

at tightend we have coby fleener

also at tightend we have zach ertz

at wide receiver we have number 2

on the o line we have these guys

these guys

these guys

these guys, but not number 73.

alright guys i think that will be it for today. thank you for stopping by and have a nice day. stay safe!

the coup basketball finals part 1

 ok hello everybody and lets jump right into it shall we. so i, alongside the great ruston rustler, held a draft to acquire players, like you, for the upcoming coup basketball finals. the order of the draft will remain private but the final outcome looked like this.

team rustler

ruston rustler - pg

ruston rustler is the team captain. is he a natural born leader, he trains cardio daily, and he may rely too much on analytics forgoing common sense. nba comparison - selfish steve nash

berkshire - sg

berkshire is a great friend, which relates to being a great teammate. he is the fastest man on the court. a 3 point specialist who is always running behind screens. he might forget to show up to a game. nba comparison - kyle korver

pop - sf

popovich doesnt wear any of the flashy equipment the other guys wear, because he doesnt want someone to make fun of him. he is related to one of the top 5 basketball coaches of all time, but he might give up after missing a shot nba comparison - kawhai leonard without drive for greatness

paths - pf

 paths has the highest testosterone on the court. ok with not putting up numbers if it means getting to win. old. nba comparison - lakers karl malone

wazzu - c

  wazzu is the chairman of the boards. 99 rebounding, tremendous size and girth could cause opponents problems, tremendous size and girth could cause him problems, slowest player on the court. nba comparison - glen 'big baby' davis

team cowboy

simanon - pg

 simon is the smallest man on the court, highest basketball iq, but size may cause him to get overpowered. nba comparison -  unathletic muggsy bogues.

sg - boone

 boone is successful in all aspects of life, hopefully leading to w's on the court, however, he is incredibly nice, which could lead to poor defensive effort in hopes his opponents will have more fun. nba comparison - joe harris

melan - sf

 melan is the most aggressive player on the court. gives full defensive effort, will take the shot when his team needs a bucket. however his aggressive nature could cause him to fight his own teammates. nba comparison - ron artest

cst - pf

 cst is a player who wont let his many past failures bother him. he is the most phsyiclaly dominant player on the court, however, he may try psyche himself trying too hard to impress any females watching. nba comparison - dwight howard if he was a foot shorter

wyo - c

wyo is, reluctantly, captain of the team. he gets to matchup against wazzu, decent at many things, but lacks dominant skill. nba comparison - jonas valnciunas 

so there you have your teams. all players were created to be 75 overall. and have exact clones of themselves to be substitutes if needed.  who do you think will win the best of 7 series? well lets take a look at game 1

 yes its true folks. team rustler came away with the victory in game 1. the game was extraordinarily clsoe throughout, with the final margin of 9 being the largest of the game. most of the game was played within a single possession, until ruston rustler himself took over in the final minutes. lets see how the players did

as you can see, there was a dominant scoring performance by ruston rustler and wazzu. with berkshire being a fantastic teammate just as predicted. pop had a very well rounded game getting close to finishing with a triple double, and paths and his clone combined for 12 and 8 with a bunch of winning plays. great job guys!

for team cowboy, it was a great team effort. simon was a great facilitator with 4 unshown steals. boone put up 21/7/5, nba all star numbers!, melan had similar stats, while also hitting many big shots throughout the game, cst had the lone double double on the team, however fouling out and almost fouling out again with his clone. and wyo put up a well balanced game. great effort team.

 

well thats it for part 1 of the series, we'll see how the next game goes!

why washington state is great

ok hello everybody and welcome back to life of wazzo. today we will be discussing why my cougars are one of premier teams in athletics. today it is 36 degrees here in pullman. very cloudy like usual. i have not seen the sun in the past 6 years. i like to walk outside and get drenched in a downpour of rain. anyways, well start with football, in which the washington state cougars are the greatest of all time.

so, firstly you want to know how these cats are the best team of all time? well just look at records against rivals

• vs idaho 72-17
• vs oregon state 54-47
• vs washington 32-74
• vs eastern washington 4-1

winning record against everyone and anyone who matters. yes we may be under .500 all time, but we hired nick rolovich who was 1 game over .500 at hawaii, so that success should translate immedittely here.

we also play basketball in washingotn state. did you know that wshington state cougars were 1941 national runner ups? you do now. 1941 also the last year we won our conference regular season. before tony bennett, the most recent head coach to win a national champiosnhip went to virginia do you knkow where he was? washington state university cougars. 😏


ok so who are some of the greats who come from the washington state university?

• drew bledsoe - qb so good that tom brady was his backup in the nfl
• craig ehlo - part of michael jordans most famous play
• ryan leaf - 2nd overall pick in 1998 nfl draft. 
• lavar ball - could beat michael jordan 1 on 1
• gardner minshew - has mustache 

ok everybody well i hope that you enjoy the blog and i hope you will come back and see me again next time. i hope everybody have a great day and everybody stay safe please!



april fool 😎

combine measurements

hello everybody and welcome back to the blog.today is a solid 43 degrees outside. very ok! ok so today i have an interesting topic that doesn't take much time for you to read. with the nfl combine underway, i thought it would be fun to see how i measure up to the great athletes.

height: 6'2" 1/8 inch
weight: 220 lbs
hand size: 9 1/2 inches
wingspan: 75 inches

what do you think of my measurables? pretty average i would say. closest comparison from this year is jake fromm at 6'1" 7/8, 219 lbs, 8 7/8" hands, and 75 inch wingspan.

how do i do on the wonderlic test?

86th percentile. i am disappointed in myself and i vow to do better.

dr evaluation - good health and no concern for serious injury. frequent right shoulder pain occasional lower back pain. occasional left wrist pain.

i would be able to pass the drug test.

i want to also do the physical tests but i have a hard time finding the space for it. i may be able to record or may not we will see.

well that is all for today. thank you everybody for coming by. it means a lot to me. thank you and stay safe my friend

super bowl 54

ok hello my friends and welcome to the blog. it is 61 degree currently. so i don't have much to say today other than this is the end of the nfl season. has been good season. i congratulations to kyler murray of the azirona cardinal the nfl offensive rookie of the year. kyler murray is very small human being but he will win championship for cardinal soon. larry fitzgerald returning again because he know the great potential of kyler murray. also the xfl is coming soon. stay tuned to the blog for updates on st louis battle hawks. ok so back to nfl chandler jones finished 19 sacks, just .5 below nfl best. he is best pass rusher in nfl he led league in 2017 season. also patrick peterson still elite nfl corner, best in nfl. budda baker 2 pro bowl in 3 year. up and coming legend. christian kirk top young wr in nfl. this team has very bright future although not love coach kingbury

final score tonight 49ers win super bowl 37-31

top 10 live mascots

ok hello everyone and welcome back to the blog. the weather today is pretty nice. currently 57 degrees and very windy but its sunny. its a lovely day outside. so today im going to do a reader request! yes my friends, the impeccable chicagoseminoletalker asked me to share my top mascots. and i thought this was a great idea. please everyone give a hand to cst.

today we are going to focus on live mascots. i will do the costumed freaks another day! now i do not know every mascot. im looking at a list but it doesn't have pictures. i know a lot of them and im trying to look for pictures of the ones i don't know but i may miss some.

the top 10

10. texas a&m - reveille

this is a very nice pooch. she is very elegant looking

9. army - the mules

these mules as black as death itself. as black as an nba locker room. stike fear into opponents

8.lsu - mike the tiger

thats a big kitty. look at him hes a cutie. hes got muscles and look at that tail! 😻

7. texas - bevo

i just like this fellow. very unique creature. such long horns. hey wait!

6.san diego state - monty the warrior

i dont think monty is still used because he was accused of being racist

5.florida state -  osceola and renegade

this guy is really cool when he plants the spear. and its on fire! look at that horse too i like his spots. nice feather

4. washington - dubs

do not mess with him. he will bite your head off. he is fierce. he is so strong. this guy has muscles like he has been locked up in the pound for the last 10 years with nothing to do but pump iron.

3.northern illinois - mission

look at this little pup he is a very cute dog. handsome eyes.

rest in peace to diesel, the former live mascot.

his memory will live on forever.

2. colorado - ralphie

its a buffalo! the animal on the flag of wyoming. he is fast and fuzzy. i like his horns. i liked it when he pooped on midfield a couple years back

1. wyoming - cowboy joe

the clear winner of the contest. standing at 7167 feet tall (with elevation of laramie included) this horse is unmatched. with locks unrivaled even by rapunzel. cowboy joe has so much power he must be contained by the body guards at all time.

look at this face.

ok thank you everybody for reading the blog. join me again next time for the other mascot rankings. i appreciate you and hope you have a great day. stay safe.